Here we are 1,352,630 seconds later and my world is shattered. But I don't feel shattered, I feel hopeful. I feel peaceful. I feel ready to find myself in this mess that's been made of our lives. Most of all, I feel you. Even when I don't feel you I know you're here and I know that you hear me. Christmas is just three days away and I know that's when it'll hit me. Right now it feels like you are in Calgary or you are at home or just simply that you are not here. I can't shake the feeling that you'll be home for Christmas. Last Christmas nothing was wrong. That's almost impossible to believe. Last Christmas you nervously gave me a mint green bag that you hoped I wouldn't hate. I remember feeling like that gift was something really special and I guess it was.
This year when you look around the room during what are usually the most special few days of the year, notice your person. You know, the one who you sit beside at dinner, the one who gets matching Christmas Eve PJ's with you. Your person. Whether it be your sister or your cousin or whoever. Notice them and appreciate that they are right there next to you. Because this year mine won't be. Because 16 days ago, I lost her and just one year ago nothing was wrong.
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